Things that made me cry this afternoon:

A photograph from under a bridge on the Cornell campus. 3 students have committed suicide there this month by jumping off of bridges.

An article about loving God above all things, including your childrens' futures.

Loving Fathers

Mark Driscoll's facebook update last night:

"My 6 yr old girl sat on my lap for dinner, snuggled, held my hand continually, prayed for me, & ensured her photos were on my phone before my flight. Daughters are amazing."

"Sooner or later, Daddy and I will find out..."

This phrase emerged from the archives of my brain tonight. It was often said to us as kids: partly to convince my brother and I to tell our parents the truth, and partly to get us to behave (whether they were looking or not.)

But I made a realization tonight: that's not true. They don't always find out. They don't always know.

And I knew this, of course, but I never really made all of the connections. And part of me was a little sad, to be quite honest. How much better it would be-- I thought-- if they DID know. Then perhaps we'd be compelled to behave...or at least tell the truth. Because our parents would know about it.

And then I realized something:
We do have a Parent who knows what we do. God didn't reveal Himself to us as Father for no reason. He indeed knows all that we do.

And yet...are we any more well-behaved because of it?

With thanks to Mrs. Amy Lynn Kalmar-Jam

This, you may recall is the author of my NT class textbook- the infamous Bart Ehrman- on the Colbert Report. It's most amusing. Enjoy. :-)

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Bart Ehrman
colbertnation.com
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What a fallen, fallen world...

A friend of mine, a 6th grader, asked my advice on what to do with a friend who talks about suicide and cuts himself with a pencil...

It breaks my heart to even think that a 12 year old would face such problems.

There's a grief that can't be spoken

"We are mearly players, performers, and portrayers"

~Limelight, by Rush.

Someone said to me tonight, "Are you okay? You don't seem yourself..."

My unspoken question: If I'm not myself, then who am I?

Sorrowful yet always rejoicing

Lately I've been feeling the weight of the fallenness of this world: neglect, death, sin, suffering, disease, unfaithfulness, sorrow, pride, mistruths, abuse....the list goes on and on.

My heart is heavy with these things, in myself and those I love.

But His Word is good and true. And so I am sorrowful, yet always rejoicing.

I'm only one person

And one person can't have good solid deep conversations with 30 people. It just doesn't work like that. I want people to know that I'm there for them. But I can't be there for everyone.

It just doesn't work.

A good rule of thumb:

Don't tick off your pharmacist.

"Yeh, I know what about 3/4 of this campus is on...But I won't/ can't say what."

They're powerful, knowledgeable people.

Never say never

Oh how I'll be glad to turn twenty. Perhaps my teen-aged "no one understands me/ what I'm going through" angst will magically disappear. (We can hope, right?)

~For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. (Heb. 4:15)

~And that same high priest knows what we're going through, and (whether or not we know it) puts people around us who are experiencing the exact same thing.

"There's no one I can talk to, because no one is going through a similar situation." = so very not true.

It's comforting to know I'm not the only one.

Pre-game

Going through my notes on Biblical manhood and womanhood before talking to Pastor Sigrid, I came across a great quote that Piper used:

“In my view, America’s greatest need is for husbands to begin guiding their families rather than pouring every physical and emotional resource into the mere acquisition of money.”
~James Dobson

Family Ties

You can choose your friends, but you can't choose your relatives.

And while they are the people who've raised you, they're not perfect.

And then you have yourself in a quandary of sorts: loving them as they are, but praying you don't grow up to be the same. Or marry someone who grows up to be the same.

Closet Skeletons

I had relatives who committed suicide. Far back enough that I never knew them, but close enough that currently-living relatives did.