Additionally...

I'm so angry I literally can't think straight right now. I'm getting a massive headache just thinking about it. If my ankle weren't such a butt I'd probably go running right about now...

Just when you think it can't get worse...

From Pastor Mark Driscoll of Mars Hill Church, Seattle:

"The big issue I’m dealing with now is the Hump Fest coming up next month. It’s the amateur porn festival. Everyone gets together in a theater and votes on which porn is the best. To make it in the festival, you need to have something in the film that shows that the film was made for this festival. This year, that’s me. People are trying to have sex around our church and in the bathrooms."

Yeh. Like terrorists hold up daily newspapers to show the authenticity of a video, apparently for this there's a different trademark of sorts that you have to have. And this year it's Mars Hill.

How much more depraved can we be?!? Isn't it bad enough to have any such "festival"??? Isn't that enough sin? That people get together and vote on what smut is the smuttiest???

Apparently not. Apparently, they can't just use their freedom of assembly to watch porn. They have to attack the Church. Christ's bride. *

It's an interesting point too: in this day of so much youtube, these videos will now be mixed in with regular MHC video. So people who are already struggling enough, who get on youtube to listen to sermon clips (imagine!) will be inundated by porn videos.

How evil can you get?

Prayers for Mars Hill. I can only imagine how difficult it is/will be for them.

*John Piper (rough quote): 'Can you imagine the mountains of wrath that are being stored up against such atrocities?' from somewhere in Biblical Manhood and Womanhood

a strange change

It's been awhile since I have legitimately (ie, not because of caffeine or too many naps) not been able to fall asleep. Until last night, apparently. I must have laid awake for 2+ hours. For no reason I could put my finger on: except having too much on my mind and being generally kinda stressed out.

It wouldn't have been so terrible if I didn't have nightmares on top of that. All of them (not surprisingly) dealing with time crunches and the like.

And when you don't sleep well, you're not rested. And when you're not rested you don't wake up. And on Sunday that means you miss church. Darn.

The best defense of being pro-life I've ever heard

Never say never

Oh how I'll be glad to turn twenty. Perhaps my teen-aged "no one understands me/ what I'm going through" angst will magically disappear. (We can hope, right?)

~For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. (Heb. 4:15)

~And that same high priest knows what we're going through, and (whether or not we know it) puts people around us who are experiencing the exact same thing.

"There's no one I can talk to, because no one is going through a similar situation." = so very not true.

It's comforting to know I'm not the only one.

From my into to religion class notes....

Symbols- are the way we experience the sacred...Bring together opposites -> 'Lamb of God' Jesus does not say "ba ba ba"

Crazy faith

You're not asking if I love this man
I know you don't, you don't believe you can
Yet I've seen love open like a dancer's fan
It's crazy I know,
But my faith says so:
It tells me.

There are certain things that should just not be fooled around with.

Spirits, ghosts, demons, and demonic possession are some of those things.

It's very strange. For whatever reason a handful of people on my floor are really into that kind of stuff. (They won't drink or do drugs, but they'll go to graveyards seeking out spirits and demons....???)

A handful of them have been (supposedly) possessed. Here on campus and when they're out visiting graveyards. I've never seen it, but they say so.

They've performed exorcisms too. Apparently all you need is a Bible, a cross, and some "holy water". I didn't ask what they counted as holy water, or how the water became holy....again it's just what I've heard.

A cry for attention? The blind leading the blind? Something to kill time? For laughs? Or is it real?

A part of me wants to know. Wants to go on one of their little outings just to show them how lame they're (probably) being.

Having taken various psyc classes, I'm even more skeptical. There's a whole list of fallacies in "believing" in ghosts, and a longer list of *why* people do.
-Power of suggestion
-Expectation influences outcome
-Coincidence
-Mob mentality
-Needing attention.....etc etc

And a large part of me is skeptical. Because I know that when there were witch hunts in the days of yore, that they came and went in waves. There wouldn't be any talk of witches for years, and then ONE case would come up and everyone and their mom was a witch (ie, Salem, MA). Then after awhile it died out for a few years.

On the other hand, that sort of thing does exist. Jesus performed exorcisms. People can really have demons.

And if this is *actual* demonic possession, 1. I don't know why they're seeking it out and 2. I don't want any parts of it.

Sometimes I just need my space

I need to be by myself. I need to not hear the rest of the outside world. I need to play my music. I need to space out. I need to not think. I need to not worry about everything in the world.

That's not easy in college.

Not a big deal

"Nothing happened. Well....not nothing. But not....well you know what I mean" -Bob

"Well. Not really... Okay so to be tremendously blunt, so that I see what you're saying... you made out with her but didn't sleep with her?" -Me

"Yeh. Pretty much. So it's not a big deal." -Bob (who, you may have guessed, isn't actually Bob. his name's not important for this.)

It's.
No.
Big.
Deal.

It's no big deal??

------

I remember when 'sleepovers' were a bunch of girls getting together on someone's birthday. You ate tons of food, talked a lot, and watched movies.

Such is not the way of things anymore. People frequently don't return to their own rooms on a nightly basis. But that doesn't mean they're sleeping on the floor in another building. Or that they've stayed up all night talking.

But its no big deal.

------

My girlfriend is somewhere else entirely, so I can take advantage of this girl who's naive enough to think that I'm just in this for friendship. And I'm going to see if I can have this girl here, and my girlfriend at the same time. The girlfriend doesn't need to know about this girl. I can pull it off.

It's no big deal.

-Jim

------


Him- I have a close friend. She's pretty nice, and we get along pretty well. We got to the same church, have a lot of similar interests.

Her- But he won't date me. He says I'm "crazy" just b/c I have ADD and depression.

Him- Yeh, it's no big deal.

------

Yes, the Bible says that homosexuality is wrong. But its not in the red letters. So it's not a big deal.

------

I can't even comment on these, I'm so frustrated. I had to just get them out of my head before I got too upset.

It is a big deal.

Lord, please help them to see that. Help your children to show them that.

Things of today...

Today I lost the last tiny bit of respect that I might have had for Emily Dickinson. This poem is part of a song we're singing in choir, and once I got past the trippy wording, I realized what it said...hence ruining her for good in my mind.

Gah! This kind of theology is so upsetting. I mean it's right there in Hebrews!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We had an interesting announcement in choir tonight. CAS (the creative arts society) was have a free pizza and condoms night. Yes, and it's everything that it's name would indicate. They give you free pizza as a draw (though it's hardly necessary...which is the lamentable bit) and they have someone [presumably...i never went, but know people who have] talk about safe sex and the like and then pass around a bag of assorted condoms and you take as many as you like.

I just breaks my heart, quite honestly. To think that one of the most precious things God gave us....and that He said was "very good".....is being so terribly abused.

Sex is for marriage! And for nothing else. You know what it is outside of marriage? Fornication. Once again. Pick up a Bible- it's in almost every single list of sins that are made.

Gah.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On a happier note- God is awesome. And turns little-to-no practice time into worship that praises Him mightily. 'Tis good.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I learned something very interesting in pscy class today: so....basic psyc 101 lecture- there are pleasure centers in your brain, to which a molecule called dopamine binds when you experience something enjoyable. (There's a reason why "dope" is derived from dopamine. When you smoke it, it creates more of this molecule which binds to the pleasure centers making you happy/ high.)

People who are easily addicted to things (drugs, alcohol, and most anything you can get addicted to) have more pleasure centers in their brains than the "average" person. So when they ________ (fill in the blank...say, have a drink) they enjoy it more than a "normal" person would. The dopamine has more places to bind to, and you feel happier.

So if you've been addicted to something in the past, you're predisposed to becoming addicted to something else (or the same thing) again.

It's just a matter of psychology.

And we wouldn't be able to overcome any such obstacles without His love, mercy and grace.

It's just the Truth.

Why?

Why do I spend so much energy in mixing with the freshmen? Why do I break my shell of introversion and start a conversation when I'd just as soon sit in silence? Why bother? Why try?

Because I was first loved by Someone who didn't have to do what He did for me.

Christ didn't have to die on the cross to bring us closer to God. God didn't have to send Him to do so. But He did. And in so doing showed us love.

And sometimes freshmen, I think, know what it means to be unloved more than most people our age. They're in a new place, with new people, and they haven't found people who care enough to love them.

Without love, life is not much fun to live. It's kind of a drag to look around a room full of people and think "Wow, no one in here cares enough about me to even say hi."

Why?

Because someone else did it for me, and in so doing pointed to the One who loves more than we can ever imagine.

That's why.